Here’s How to Save a Relationship
Put this in your thoughts, decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved. Both parties must decide that they want to try to make it work. If one of the partners has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little hope that it can be done.
Staying in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. Is now the right thing to do. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by all parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. Which is not always true.
For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.
When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can always save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts with your partner. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, start an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together one day in the week. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
Richard Porter
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/heres-how-to-save-a-relationship-723948.html
Girls, what could be happening in my relationship?? Help!!?
My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. The relationship has been pretty healthy, smooth and we usually communicate. A couple of days ago I noticed my girlfriend was kind of depressed and I asked her what’s going on. We had a long talk and she was telling me how she felt overwhelmed because she works and then she has to come home and grade papers and make plans with me, etc, etc. She even told me that she’s been stressed because she sort of feels that we are lacking something in our relationship and that she feels no desire to have sex. But then, she started crying and she told me not to get her wrong, she said that she loved me more than anything else and that she will never want to leave me.
So, I’ve been analyzing the situation and see what we "are lacking" or what have caused her to doubt about our relationship: in the past, when we first had sex she was a virgin, all the times we had sex was painful for her even though I was careful, obviously she would not orgasm due to this but only me. Also, our relationship has always been based on us, we don’t hang out with much of our friends, she doesnt hang out with female friends, I dont hang out with guys, we always eat together, we live together! So, I thought that maybe our relationship has been sort of asfixiated and she probably feels bored eventually to have this kind of relationship. She’s probably outgrowing the fact of only hanging out with me, even though she DOES say she loves me…
So, I decided to take some action to save my relationship, and so did she. She scheduled an appointment with a sex therapist and I’ve been trying to put stress off her. Now, she has made herself a workout routine, I go biking, now she has banjo lessons, I got out to a coffee shop to hang out with friends.
The fact is, I’m still worried because I don’t know if this is helping but it seems like the right thing to do right now.
So, I wanted to ask you girls what could be happening with my girlfriend, do girls fall out of love from one day to another, and what are the common reasons for this? Do you think its good what Im doing, giving her some space and doing other activities? I thought maybe that could kill the same old routine of seeing each other every single day and do the same things.
Please help, here’s a worried man trying to save his relationship. On one hand I feel good because she claims to love me, on the other, i feel worried for I’m not sure why she feels doubt.
That night after we talked, she told me how better she felt that we talked and she told me that we should not worry about anything but just try to be happy. She seemed pretty positive.
i almost started crying when i read this
your doing what you can and thats great!
you really love her.. make her know that
you should do something really romantic for her…
you say you eat together… i dont know how the dinners are…
but one night when she gets home… have a candle lit dinner ready and let her relax
or maybe you could reenact your first date or something that will just make her really happy
for awhile sex was painful for me
and it was because there was no foreplay so i wasnt wet so there was a lot of friction
i dunno if that helps at all… but it seems like she loves you too
shes willing to go to a sex therapist and what not
if shes upset about anything, be there for her, hold her, love her
good luck!
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From what you’re already doing, you sound like you really want it to work
and you sound like a great guy.
Romantic things are a good idea for sure, to keep her feeling special even through all her stress right now. And if you have the time even offer to help her grade papers so she’s not doing it as long as she would otherwise.
It also wouldn’t hurt to schedule a fun day like bowling or mini golfing or a theme park with friends of your’s or her’s as kind of a group of couples. That way you’d be with her, and be having fun. It might evoke a different side of her than you’ve seen later. It’d get her away from the house/apartment, and have fun with you and others. It may even make you guys better friends with each other rather than falling in the slump of "just living together"…don’t be afraid to get out and be kids now and then to break up the stresses….Best of luck!!
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