Comments on: Relationship Advice: Housing Your Mother-in-law

By: Judy

Judy — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:50:59 +0000

I am so sorry I can understand your hurt feelings with her snooping into her son’s email. She has no business reading into his email. You are married and it is you and your husbands business alone. Nothing to do with anyone else reading into your personal lives. She is not going to get any brownie points with either of you or your husband for snooping. You might even ask her to mind her own business in a situation that nasty. Just for now I would get along as best as possible. When your husband comes home you can discuss the situation in more detail. You don’t want to come between his family even though it hurts. But it doesn’t mean you need to be present either to take any more snooping abuse from her. That is totally wrong and very hurtful. Let her know you are the strong one and stand by your man through thick and thin. Your relationship with your husband is worth keeping but the relationship with his family is sort of nipped in the bud already and over. So keep your chin up and be proud. Try not letting her nasty crap bother you.
Best of luck to you.
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By: Libertarian

Libertarian — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:48:59 +0000

Sometimes its difficult, but remember, you are close to your mom, but she is HIS mom!! And in a real fight, she’ll win. A person can have many spouses, but only ONE mom! And I, too, would give my mom my email password if I was in a combat zone. You two women need to meet over a good cup of coffee and chill out. Or there will be a divorce, if not now, then in 5 or 10 years. Except if mom was a brutal abuser (which obviously she was not), you can’t win this by being confrontational.
By the way, I lived with a rude, overwheening mom-in-law for 18 years, till she died. But that was the price to pay for living with my Queen. I understand you.
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By: Joe & Maureen

Joe & Maureen — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:46:59 +0000

You did NOTHING wrong!!!! She should have never read your email! As a couple you say things to each other that you would never say to anyone else. Thats one of the wonderful things about being married is that you can really open up and talk at gut level and then forget about it. For your mother in law to intercept an email to your husband is despicable! If I were you I would be glad that happened because if you had never written anything that got her so upset she may have just kept reading his emails and you wouldnt have known! I think you should change your number and if and when you ever try to make amends do it when your husband is home and he can support you. It is unforgivable what she did. Do not question yourself
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By: free_angel

free_angel — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:44:59 +0000

Tell your husband he better set his mother straight as you're not about to put up with her crap. Tell him you expect him to do this ASAP!!!
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By: wolfblitz007

wolfblitz007 — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:42:49 +0000

mother in law advice…was I wrong?
My husband is currently serving in Afghanistan and I had my in laws come down for the birth of my child. I had to beg and plead for my mother in law to come because she kept saying she was busy. Turns out that she wanted my father in law to come as well (I was uncomfortable with this but oh well). Needless to say because of him being there my birth experience was not all that great. He kept touching things, calling me names, wanting to bring my child into my house etc. I was so frustrated I emailed my husband as a way to vent because i knew he would understand and he would give me words of wisdom to help heal and move on from the experience. I had detailed everything in the email, everything that irked me. My husband is in an area where they have no internet connection but he got to call home from a phone. I discussed it with him over the phone and I let it go (End January). I wake up this morning to find that my mother in law sent me some really nasty text messages stating I was a horrible person. Confused I was like why what happened. She went into my husbands emails and read it. Now that was inappropriate to me because which emails has she read? Not seeing your husband for 7 months well yea you get the point. She’s threatening to tell my husband I’m a bad person etc. She’s also saying that I’m keeping her away from her son (my husband) and I’m alienating them from my daughters life. When I was the one that made her come down, I am the one who initiated skype calls with them so they can see their grandchild. Do I regret the email no because it was everything I felt and I have moved on from it (alot of the email consisted of thoughts I was having while having the baby blues). She should never have read the email to being with nor even accessed his account with the security questions. Recommendations on what to do. I’m going home to see my parents and in all honesty I know she’s going to be there for my husband when he returns and I really don’t want to be there. Yes it’s my husband who I haven’t seen in months but I don’t want to deal with her or my father in law. I’m also highly considering changing my phone number so she can’t contact me anymore (of course give my husband the new one). Was/am I wrong for sending the email and any suggestions anyone can give me on this situation.
By the way she’s now threatening me to send the email to all family members…She went through my son’s email (he’s 24 grown man), interfered with something between husband and wife and posting stuff that makes them look bad. Is this relationship worth saving? My husband really doesn’t favor her much either.
Here’s the thing he never calls his mom, no matter how many I tell him he should call his family. He didn’t give his mom the password she used the security question to log in. How do I know this because are emails are linked and it said "your pw has been successfully reset". He doesn’t rust his mom with his pw stuff because she emptied out his college fund & spent it on stupid stuff. He never gives his mom access to anything. Especially since we have our bank information & bills via email…BTW thanks for having faith in marriage. I don’t intend to go anywhere.