1. Establish the root cause

You probably do not know what exactly have gone wrong that has caused the break up to happen. So the very first thing to get your ex back together again is to find out the root cause of the break up. Even though you are not able to change the past, it will help you in future in maintaining a long term relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend. A must-know if you want to get your ex back!

2. Do not appear needy

I know you are dying to call or text your ex straight away after the break up but let me warn you that this can actually screw up everything. Trying to beg your ex just will not work. I have tried this before as someone who has gone through this numerous of times. A must-know if you want to get your ex back!

3. Self reflection

I deem that your ex probably has dropped a couple of hints before the break up actually happened. Apparently you have chosen to be ignorant of what your ex has hinted to you and you have forced your ex to leave you eventually. Now is not the time to curse and swear yourself for making those past mistakes. Instead, do a self reflection to figure out how you can do better. A must-know if you want to get your ex back!

Now ask yourself this – Do you want your ex back? Do you want to get your ex back? How are you going to get Your Ex Back? Learning how to get your ex back is not some rocket science; it is all possible if you know how! Throughout the article, I have gone through a systematic plan which lays the foundation for you to learn how to get your ex back.

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Let me put forward a fact. More than ninety percent of the time, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot get your ex back together after a break up, provided that you know exactly what are the actual steps to take to get your ex back together.

1. Establish the facts

The first step to get your ex back together is to establish what precisely occurred that eventually led to the break up. Although you cannot return back into the past and change the past, you can however learn from the past errors and you can try to gain knowledge from and grow from your past experiences. 

The break up may have happened because of just one event, or it may be a cumulative result of what has happened in the past so much so that your ex just cannot tolerate anymore. No matter what the reason was that caused the breakup, you really need to dig out the root cause behind the break up. To make the relationship work, you really need to find out what had really gone wrong in the first place. 

2. Get back your confidence

The next step to get Your Ex Back, together is not to project yourself as a needy party. I know that you cannot live without your ex and you just feel like dying but there is absolutely no point in making this so observable in front of others including your ex. My word of advice is to remain strong and calm and show your ex that you are doing just as well when you are all alone. If you are able to get back your self confidence, then you will stand a much greater chance to get your ex back, together.

3. Do not take revenge or stir jealousy

Finally, trying to take revenge on your ex or making your ex feel jealous is not the way to go. By doing so, you are only making your ex realize that your ex has made the right choice to leave you and this simply pushes your ex away from you. You should however show that you are doing fine standing on your own and when your ex sees that, your ex will be moved to get back with you instead.

Now ask yourself this – Do you want your ex back? Do you want to get your ex back? How are you going to get your ex back? Learning how to get your ex back, is not some rocket science; it is all possible if you know how! Throughout the article, I have gone through a systematic plan which lays the foundation for you to learn how to get your ex back.

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The most common objection women have to using the no contact rule is, they fear their ex boyfriend will forget them and find someone else. They also think he might feel she does not love him anymore and become discouraged and move on. This is good thinking because you don’t want to just jump into something you don’t know about and be sorry later.

To put these fears to rest, you need to understand how this tactic can win your ex boyfriend back in a hurry. First of all, the no contact rule works just as it sounds. You set a certain period of time that you will have no contact with your ex boyfriend and you stay with it. In fact that is the key to successfully winning him back, you must not break the rule of no contact once you start it.

How long should this period of ignoring your ex boyfriend last? At least two weeks, and longer if you have the strength. You have to give him time to think and begin to miss you. Once he starts missing you, his attitude toward you will change almost completely. When he realizes you have the strength and maturity to just walk away from him, it will take your ex by surprise.

He thought you would be trying everything you could think of to get him back. He won’t realize that by having no contact with him, you are using the best tactic of all. By not chasing him, you are showing your ex boyfriend you can live without him. By declaring your independence you will become a challenge to him.

Men like to think they win the woman of their choice, while all women know they are the ones that do the choosing. But it goes back to olden days when knights slew a dragon and rescued their maiden fair. That gene is still in your ex boyfriend and although there are no dragons to slay, he has to win your love.

The no contact rule gives him the chance to win back your love. By ignoring your ex boyfriend, you are playing hard to get again and he will be chasing you. When you let him win you back, he will never know that you used the no contact rule to pull him back to you.

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So, what can you do to win your ex back?

Well, you might be worried about your chances of winning Your Ex Back. However, instead of focusing on the unnecessary worries and factors that you can’t control, you will want to direct your attention to those things you can control instead.

For example, it is quite normal that many men and women tend to make certain mistakes when they are trying to win their ex back. There are quite a number of reasons why they made these mistakes.

First, it seems to be the next logical thing to do. Unfortunately, logical doesn’t mean it is the best thing to do. Second, there are too emotionally devastated to be able to prevent themselves from making the mistakes. Third, they are not aware that those things are actually mistakes.

So, by knowing what those mistakes are, you will have a much higher chance to avoid committing them. There are quite a number of mistakes, so we won’t be able to mention all of them here is this article.

Perhaps, one of the most common mistakes is calling your ex over and over again. This is a big mistake because it gives your ex the impression that you are desperate. Desperation is only going to drive your ex further away.

The reason a man or woman can make this mistake is usually because his/her ex is not picking up the phone. So, the logical step to do is of course to keep on calling and calling until the ex picks up the phone. Unfortunately, in this scenario, the most logical thing to do is not the best thing to do.

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What you want isn’t impossible, but it’ll take effort and patience for it to happen. I know what you may be thinking, “I want my ex back right now. I don’t want to wait or think, I just want my ex back right now, this minute!” This is the most common reaction following a break up, but you absolutely can’t rush to your ex’s face and pour out your feelings right after you’ve broken up.

The road to recovery in a relationship takes time, especially if there was a history of infidelity or secrecy. Here’s what you need to do to rekindle that passion between you and your ex so you can get back together. The first thing to do is stay in contact with your ex’s friends.

If you are somehow still talking with your ex’s friends, keep that friendship between them. That friendship is an all access pass to your ex’s life, and a possible doorway to getting communication started again between you and your ex. If your ex’s friend realizes that you genuinely want to Get Back Together, then they may help you do that.

Alot of us, right after a break up, tend to start calling and texting our ex’s phone like crazy. Instead of successfully annoying your ex, contact their friend and see if they can tell you anything about what’s going on with your ex.

This is great whether you’re the one who has left, or they did. If you’re thinking, “I want my ex back now!,” then what you have to do is establish communication between the two of you. This is may be difficult because there are those whose ex is already seeing someone else.

Just have a stream of communication with your ex. Whether you have to talk to the friend and they message the ex, or you are talking to your ex directly. An line of communication is the only way you can express how you feel to your ex, and let them know that you want to be together again.

Prove to your ex that the relationship won’t be the same as it was before, and talk to each other about the problems that cause the relationships to sink. If you can compromise and commit to each other again, you can get Your Ex Back.

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Learn to be patient

When you want to get your ex back, you have to have a lot of patience. Be sure of yourself and believe that your ex will come back into your life. Your belief will give you the patience that you will need to accept the fact that your ex will come back into your life eventually.

Quit hounding your ex

Your ex will come back to you if you create the right impression. To do that, you need to quit hounding your ex all the time. Giving your ex some space will allow your ex to miss you and get rid of the pent up anger and frustration against you.

Keep your desperation under control

It can be very tempting to call and convince your ex to get back to you. But that is going to look like you are begging him/her to come back into your life. The decision of coming back into your life has to be your ex’s and begging is going to look like a desperate attempt and will have a negative impact.

Look at constructive steps of getting your ex’s attention

Your ex has to see that you are making some constructive attempts to change the things that he/she found wrong about you. Assessing those and making subsequent changes is going to impress your ex.

Open the channels of communication with your ex

Once you have made the necessary changes, get back in touch with your ex to mend broken bridges. Apologize to your ex and take full responsibility of causing them the hurt and the pain. This will impress your ex further and make him/her see that you are a nice person and deserve another chance.

Don’t rush things now

Get to a point where you can get talking to your ex comfortably. Develop your rapport with your ex but at no point should you push for reconciliation. That way your ex will know that you respect them immensely and compel them to think of getting back with you.

Develop your friendship first

Now that things are on smoother ground develop your friendship with your ex so that you can renew the relationship on a solid ground. Once this is done your ex will himself/herself come back to you.

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Yet for most couples, breaking up can take a very long time – or even a few times, to boot. Chances are you know more than a few people who’ve broken up, gotten back together, and then parted ways again, and again, and again.

So what does it mean when your ex is still calling you up after the breakup? Did they have something else to say? Do they want their stuff back? Or is your ex boyfriend or girlfriend calling you for an even more hidden reason?

Your Ex Calling After The Breakup – What They Really Want

Essentially, there are two types of breakups. One of them is serious, and that’s the one where your ex boyfriend or girlfriend barely looks back. You don’t get any calls, you don’t get any text-messages, and your email inbox is barren and empty. Maybe your ex severs electronic ties as well, such as MySpace or Facebook. The point here, is that this person is looking to break up for real. They’re not playing games, or thinking about getting you back.

The other type of breakup is where your ex is actually hedging his or her bets. They want the freedom to be single again, but they also want the reassurance of knowing you’re not too far away. This is where your ex will keep you within easy reach, by one or more of the following:

* Your ex boyfriend or girlfriend keeps calling, for different reasons, after the break. 
* Your ex gives you the “let’s be friends speech”. 
* Your ex writes innocently on your Facebook wall, updates your MySpace page, etc… 
* Your ex keeps in touch with your friends, and keeps asking about you.

In every case, your ex is really trying to do one thing: keep tabs on you. They want to know what you’re doing (and who you’re doing it with) for some very specific reasons, and all of those reasons involve keeping you from losing interest.

In more obvious cases, your ex might even tell you they still love you, or have unresolved feelings. When you press to Get Back Together they’ll start to pull away, but this is only because they’d like to keep the breakup going while they decide what to do.

The truth is, your ex still calls because he or she isn’t ready to lose you. They might’ve initiated the break, but they might also be unsure of it. If you can recognize this, getting your ex back becomes a whole lot easier. You can use their existing feelings to draw them back in, provided you know what to do next.

What To Do When Your Ex Calls You Up

Handling the ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend phone call isn’t always cut and dry, but the one thing you need to do is stay calm. Getting too excited can really put your ex off, and they might immediately mark you as desperate to hear from them. You don’t want this.

Instead, play it cool. If your ex texted you, don’t respond right away. If your ex left a message, take your time in calling them back… or don’t call back at all and let them dial your number a second time. If they’re serious about getting back in touch with you, they will.

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Is your ex hanging around
The first sign to look for is if your ex is hanging around. If your ex, more often than not, hangs around in the same places as you or frequents the same places you both would, then you can surmise that your ex has feelings for you.

Does your ex turn round to acknowledge you
If your ex turns round to acknowledge you, when you’re around in the same place, then it shows that your ex still has feelings for you. If on the other hand, your ex does not acknowledge you, it might prove they’ve lost all feelings.

Is your ex ignoring you
You cannot be certain of this behavior as it could be interpreted in two ways. Your ex may do this intentionally so that you pursue them, or they may do it because they actually want to ignore you because of the break up.

Does your ex enquire about you
This would best be known through common friends! Your friends will communicate to you that your ex was enquiring about you. Or if you enquire about your ex, they will likewise communicate it to them. This will tell you your ex still has feelings for you.

Does your ex call occasionally
If your ex takes the trouble of calling you occasionally to find out how you’re doing, then be sure that they still have feelings for you. If they had completely lost all feelings then you would not find them calling even occasionally to find out about you.

Is your ex a loner now
If your ex is a loner now then you can be quite sure that they still have feelings for you and not lost all feelings for you. If your ex did not have feelings then you’d find them go about partying and having fun with not only old friends but with someone special as well.

Is your ex walking away
Lastly, this will tell you if your ex has feelings or lost all feelings for you. If you both happen to be at the same place does your ex turn around and walk away or just be cordial when confronted. If so, then, your ex has lost all feelings for you and would rather walk away than meet you.

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You need to pamper yourself and maintain your personality. To cope with break up and have the strength to get you ex boyfriend, you must be strong. With good and healthy looks, your ex will definitely notice you.

Give yourself time to get over the grief after losing your boyfriend. Some people can take long to recover from this while others take a short time. Make sure that you have dealt with emotions before you can take your ex back. This will ensure that you are ready to start another healthy relationship with your ex.

You need to be with your friends and avoid feeling lonely. Contacting your friends everyday will keep you emotionally healthy and it will be easy for you to get your ex boyfriend back. When you are very lonely, you may call him even if you do not want to. This can be a show of weakness and your ex is likely to reject you more. Show him that you have got some strength in you and your friends and you can move on without him.

Engage yourself in new things that will make you forget about your ex for some time. Avoid places that you visited together and you will not run into him. Your ex will be amazed by your strength and is likely to fall in love with you. Men like strong women and not ones who will be whining all the time to get their ex boyfriend’s attention.

Try to rediscover the connection between you and your ex boyfriend. You can do this by calling him up and knowing how he is doing. Talk about how you have been since the break up and ask him to meet with you. This not easy, but it is an essential step to get your ex boyfriend back. Spend sometime to together and see if you still have feelings for one another.

If you still feel love for one another, you are likely to get together. Make sure that you maintain your new activities and be wiser in the relationship. Take care of your love and work together to make the relationship strong and long – lasting.

Make sure that you do not rush things when trying to get you ex boyfriend back. Take you time to assess the relationship and determine if it’s worth saving or not.

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What does not applying pressure mean? It means do not call your ex, do not text your ex, do not email your ex, and absolutely do not beg your ex to take you back. Instead, back off and let nature take it’s course. Yes, you are suffering from the pain of a breakup, but you have to back off.

After a week or so, if your love hasn’t made any contact, it is now okay to do it yourself. But be casual about it. Drop them an email saying “how are you doing?” Again, don’t overdo it. You don’t want to seem too eager.

Just as there is power in romantic relationships, there is a power balance in a break up situation. If you give up your power by chasing your ex, you actually lessen your chances of getting them back.

If the situation was a minor blow up, you may be able to win your ex back by stepping back for a few days and then dropping a casual hint that you are still interested.

But, if a month or so has gone by and you’re still not back together, it’s time to step things up. By this time, he or she has probably started thinking about new partners. Now, it’s time to really learn how to win your ex back.

It is very important not to crowd your ex, even when you are pursuing them. Don’t stalk. It is okay to show up where they hang out from time to time, but be prepared to pay attention to other people besides your ex.

You should also consider contacting your ex from time to time in a casual way. For instance, you could email them saying “I walked by the park where we flew kites that time and it made me think of you. I miss those days.” Also, make sure that you always remember their birthday with a card or small gift. This will let them know that they are still on your radar.

One controversial tactic is to ask one of your ex’s friends out on a date. Then text your ex and ask him or her where the friend would like to go on the date. This will make your ex think that you are moving on and make him or her question whether they really want to be broken up.

It is okay to date other people while you are broken up, but you should refrain from sleeping with them. Your ex may consider this a final sign that the relationship is over. So, be true to your love even though you have broken up.

And that is how to win Your Ex Back.

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